Marketing: Renaming Hopscotch

Dev: Excellent game. We have noticed how the game sticks resemble humorously large chopsticks. We propose that you call the game Chopscotch.

Marketing: Re: Re: Hopscotch Feedback

R&D:

1. We are a hive mind. We process quickly.
2. We have a large databank of human information. We simulated our humans.
3. If we had used our live humans, we could have tested them in parallel (see 1).
4. Our humans are better than yours.

Marketing: Hopscotch Feedback

R&D: After lengthly tests and surveys, we have determined that the first of your three ideas has the highest probability of being successful at this time. We suggest that you pursue your first option.

Marketing: Re: Hopscotch

R&D: Why are you changing the target audience? You noted that "Hopscotch" was directed at younger humans to improve in their balance. Stick to the plan.

Marketing: Bulletin Board Title

We've changed the name of the bulletin board to "Conqueror's Cookbook". It's got a catchy ring to it, doesn't it? Our analysis of company records shows that with the addition of regulated doses of whimsey to group activities, team synergy can be increased by a rate of 21%.

Marketing: First Post

Good morning, everyone! Marketing has reached a consensus that we'd "break the ice" on this company journal by posting a draft of the press release that will be shipping on Launch Day. You're gonna love it!

[edit] Looks like R&D beat us to the punch. It would have been nice to have some valuable content in the first post but nobody's perfect.

Greetings! 

We represent the planetary expansion company Central Orion Arm Trading Company where our motto is "A Fun-Filled World is a Happy World!" We would first like to extend our congratulations on your species' recent recategorization as a Basic Intelligent Life Form. This is a big step for a young planet and we share your excitement in the commencement of your next stage of evolution. 

In that vein, we are currently in the process of acquiring your planet so that we may begin your species' service phase. We realize that this process should be fairly new to you so before we commence with basic retopography, population redesign, and profession assignment we will be conducting a series of brief surveys of the human population. This particular survey branch is dedicated to the impact of fun on the human psyche. We will be collecting data on existing sources of fun, namely games, with the anticipation that well-designed company approved games will assist in resident education and acceptance of the new management system. 

We look forward to working with you and will keep you informed of our progress with regular updates. 

Thank you for your time,  

Marketing

Games and Diversions Division 

The Central Orion Arm Trading Company