Thursday, March 27, 2014

Games that Just Aren't Fun

Some games aren't fun. At some point in gameplay, the game ceases to amuse and becomes a chore for the player. Since games are typically supposed to be fun, this is usually a bad thing. The game designer didn't do their job correctly and has produced a bad game.

Although it's very easy to label an un-fun game as a bad game, it goes deeper than that. As I see it, there are three kinds of not-fun games:

  1. Games that were never fun because of bad design
  2. Games that started fun but became soul-crushing over time
  3. Games that were never fun, but that's the point
Games in Category 1 fit the label of bad design. The controls are sticky, the bosses are too hard, the characters are insufferable, the storyline meanders without point; for whatever reason, this game was supposed to be enjoyable but trips out of the starting gate.

Category 2 games have a solid core of gameplay. They are enjoyable and fun at the start but then typically have some sort of bar-filling Skinner's Box that keeps the player coming back for more. These games range from enormous MMO's like World of Warcraft to casual games like Cookie Clicker and 2048. What they all have in common is that sticky, addictive mechanic that keeps fans coming back for another hit of dopamine. In this case, the game designers have usually done their job correctly. These games are often designed with an obsessive personality in mind and are built to draw their players into just one more round before bed.

Category 3 games are a bit different. Their purpose was to be interactive, yes, informative, yes, but not fun. They exist to make a statement. The most recent example I can cite is Papers, Please. It's essentially Desk Job the Video Game in terms of its mechanics. At the end of the day, though, its point is to be critical and satirical, not fun. Every Day the Same Dream is similar; as a white-collar worker, the game content is mundane and soul crushing, but in doing so it is criticizing the monotony of an office job. Games like these are built to inform. They might have moments of entertainment, but at the end of the day they are not fun nor do they want to be.


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Game Idea Repost

I had a thought when I was reading a blog for Game Design; if anyone can think of any games like this, let me know because now I want to play one:

"What if... we took fighting games and FPS's and smashed them together? Are there any games that do that? I wonder if you could keep some of the combo-based dynamics of 1v1 fighting games and apply them to a larger multiplayer setting. For example: what if you were playing a classic FPS game like Capture the Flag or Control point except that instead of using shooting combat, you encouraged some sort of hand-to-hand dueling atmosphere with some stealth thrown in? This probably already exists somewhere but it could be an interesting way to take a fresh look at fighting games."

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Inspiration Source: Walking Meditation

Taking a walk can be an amazing source of inspiration for how the world works. There are plenty of things that go into creating a virtual environment–buildings, plants, people, animals–that are relatively easy to emulate because of how often you consciously make note of them. However, there are also plenty of more subtle elements like background sounds, echoes, light sources, and the general "feeling" of a place that are often more unconsciously observed. This makes them more difficult to replicate and can lead to an experience feeling fake or shallow.

The point of this exercise is to use a form of walking meditation to focus on some of the things you might not normally focus on. By consciously focusing on a certain more subtle aspect from our world, you will have a more concrete reference point when you are building a new one of your own.

Here's the basic idea: when you're walking somewhere, pick an element of your walk and try to focus on it for the entirety of your walk. Some of these take a bit of practice, so make sure your walk is at least 15 minutes long. It's also important to stick to one element per walk, at least with a new element, so that you can teach yourself to hone in on that particular kind of detail. I've included some suggestions below for elements to focus on:

Sounds

Pay attention to the sounds around you. The sound of your footsteps: wet concrete, dry concrete, leaves, snow, puddles. Cars: engines, breaks, revving, honking, screeching. Natural noises like rain, dripping or rushing water, animals in the brush, and the wind. Human noises like footsteps, talking, laughing, doors opening and closing, music.

Figure out where the sounds are coming from. Are the sounds moving? Where are they going? Can you hear the Doppler effect? Pay attention to where you're walking, of course, but focus on the sounds around you.

Sources of Light

This is more effective at night. Identify where the light is coming from: street lights, head lights from cars, open and closed windows, airplanes, traffic lights.

Watch how the light reflects or diffuses on the materials around it. Watch if the shadows are sharp or soft and how distorted they are. Watch how your surroundings change as light is introduced or removed. Watch how the color starts seeping into the area when a car's headlights come closer and how everything fades when they speed away.

Shapes of Buildings

Look at the buildings around you: houses, apartments, shops, offices, schools. How large are they? What materials are they made of? What's it shaped like; is it a giant block of material or does it have recessed areas? How do you get in: where are the doors? What do the doors look like? Are there stairs to the door? How dirty is the building; does it look like it's been around for a while? How does your perspective change as you walk by it? What does it look like in relation to the buildings around it; big, small, grand, dingy, impressive, sad, abandoned? What kind of detail can you find in the brickwork, around the doors or windows, around the roof? Is anyone entering or leaving the building? What do they look like they're there for?


The "Feeling" of Your Surroundings

Unfocus your attention. Rather than looking at a specific part of the environment in front of you, try to look at all of it. As you walk forward, how do things move in your vision in relation to each other? Can you detect the bob of your vision as you footsteps move your body up and down? Try to look at the world as if you are looking at it through a screen and take it all in at once.


Materials

What are things made of? Does the material seem new or has it been around for a while? Has it been exposed to the elements? How does light reflect off of it? How has it been combined with or attached to other materials? Does it look smooth, rough, glossy, fuzzy, prickly? Does it look heavy, light, bulky, delicate? Why would someone have picked that particular material for what it is currently being used for? Where has it broken? Where does it look like it would break? What does it feel like, smell like? When you tap it, what sound does it make?

Man-Made Artifacts

Take note of things that were clearly made by people. Vehicles: cars, buses, bicycles. Infrastructure: roads, bridges, traffic lights, bus stops, sidewalks, fences. Buildings, trash cans, toys, trash, lawn chairs. How do people in this area use their surroundings? Is there any effort to work with nature? Everything manmade was designed by someone; who made it? For what purpose? Why did they put it where they did? What sort of laws would dictate what can and cannot be in this area? What sort of unspoken rules apply to the objects?

Trash

An extension of the above suggestion and includes things like gum on the sidewalk, bits of paper, lost gloves, trash cans on the side of the road, dropped food, and things of that nature. What constitutes trash? Where has it gathered? Does it look like it was intentionally trash or has it become trash out of loss or neglect? Would you touch it? Why or why not? Does it look salvageable? Where do you think it came from? Do you think the owner misses it? What does it tell you about the owner?

Other Walkers

Warning: people don't like strangers looking at them. The point of this exercise is to learn about people in your environment, not to be a creep. Unless you want to try some variation of this meditation that involves scaring other people, don't stare at them. A cursory glance should be more than enough. 

What are they wearing? What does their hair look like, if you can see their face, what sort of expression do they have? Can you imagine who they are, what they're doing, what they might be thinking about? How are they reacting to others in their environment? If there are two or more people in a group, how are they interacting?


Plants

Take note of trees, grass, flowerbeds, moss, climbing vines, weeds between the sidewalk, and other plants around you.

Where are there plants growing? Is someone clearly taking care of them or are they unmanaged? Do they seem out of control? Did someone plant this or did it grow by itself? Would you call it pretty? How old does it look? Has it been damaged? Does it seem healthy? If you could give it an emotion, which emotion would you give it?


Ugliness

What around you would you classify as "ugly"? Why? Is it the shape, color, material, consistency? Is it organic, man-made, or both? Does it stem from decay, disinterest, cheapness, or something else? Did it become ugly over time or was it always that way? What would you do to make it "better"? Can it be improved, is it a lost cause, or is it better because it is ugly? Does it fit in with its surroundings or does it stick out to you?

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Director: [QUARTERLY REPORT] Games with Judges

What happens when the winner of a game is chosen subjectively?

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with my friend about our tastes in board games. He prefers Eurogames: Seven Wonders, Ticket to Ride, Power Grid, and other high-strategy point-based games. When I expressed my preference for games like Apples to Apples and Channel A, he raised an eyebrow and replied "but those aren't games."

Are they?

Games like Apples to Apples, Channel A, and Cards Against Humanity all have a similar ruleset. There are two sets of cards, what I will refer to as "cue" cards and "player" cards. At the beginning of a round, one player will take on the role as judge. They flip over one or more cue cards from the cue card deck to serve as an inspiration. The remaining players then sift through their hands of player cards to find a response to the cue cards. The stated goal is to find a player card that is the most interesting, creative, or funny in response to the cue cards.

But which card is the most interesting? The uncertain element in this kind of game is the judge. Which card they ultimately choose as the winner is entirely subjective; what could be funny or compelling to the rest of the players doesn't matter if the judge chooses a different card as the winner.

So is this a game?  There are points: whoever's card the judge chooses gets a point. There is a clear objective: come up with fun card combinations to win points, whoever has the most points wins. But a funny thing happens when a group of friends starts playing one of these games...

Let's take Channel A as our example. In this particular flavor of the game, the judge is the producer for a company that makes anime. They draw five possible cue cards that contain common anime tropes: Monster Hunters, Supernatural Battles, Kid Detective, Cyberpunk Dystopia, and Coming of Age are a few examples. They pick their two favorites, turn to the other players, and say something along the lines of, "Alright, team, we've had our marketing folks hold a few focus group sessions and we've determined that this season the kids are really into Monster Hunters and Coming of Age dramas. Show me an anime that has those two elements and we'll make a fortune!"

The players look at their hands of player cards. The cards have single words like Angel, Lucky, School, Robo, Rune, and Eternal. The player uses these cards to pick out a title that matches the cue cards. They pick between two and four cards and take turns pitching their anime ideas to the producer: "Picture this: there's another world hidden in the shadows of modern day New York City. An underground society of dark engineers have harnessed the power of an Old Magic and are weaving spells with machinery into an army of cyborg monsters. Of course, the world cannot know of the existence of magic. Thus, the ancient line of wizards safeguarding these arcane secrets have founded a new school to train worthy teenagers in the ways of mechanomagic. Our heroes must learn to work together and control their strange new powers in... ROBO RUNE SCHOOL!" The player reveals their title cards to the group.

The titles people come up with can be extraordinarily funny, clever, and witty. On the other hand, they can be hilariously bad. There's a ton of table talk; people laugh and joke about the best titles or rib the people with bad ideas. Occasionally the laughter will become so contagious that nobody at the table can catch their breath for several minutes. Sure, somebody's winning, but does anyone even care anymore? People keep playing until they get bored and then only briefly note who got the most points if at all. It isn't about the points anymore; nobody cares who won. It's become a social experience. Does this make it less of a game?

Some might argue that it isn't; it's a social experience and an icebreaker, not a game. I'd argue that this makes it more of a game. The focus becomes about the act of playing and less about who wins. I suppose it depends on what you want out of a game. If the point of a game for you is to win, then perhaps this particular style is not as good for you as a game as Seven Wonders or basketball. If the point of a game is to enjoy the experience and interact with other people, though, then these fit the description perfectly.




Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Director: [QUARTERLY REPORT] Friendly spite in games

Our recent success with Chopscotch brings up an interesting question: what place does spite have in games?

Our lengthly and in-depth observation of human psychology has confirmed the presence of spiteful behavior in humans, i.e. the occasional desire to deliberately cause annoyance or grief in another human. We have further observed that by and large this behavior is viewed as rather juvenile; those who act out of spite are looked down on in anger and annoyance by others.

And yet, a large portion of Earth's games include some form of competition. For any game that pits players against each other, we take it as a given that where there is a winner there must also be a loser. When a soccer goalie blocks a score they as much taking a point away from the opposing team as they are protecting their team's chances of winning. As the goal is blocked, a collective groan rises from the opposing team, the kicker scowls and swears under their breath. The goalie has deliberately caused annoyance from their successful block.

Humans have developed a special word for spite in the context of games: sportsmanship. It seems to be an agreement that a certain amount of spite is allowed to the players but only in the context of the game and its rules. A goalie may indeed block a goal but in doing so they are well aware that in return the opposing team will rush at them with renewed fervor at the next opportunity. Players may also expect that outside of the game, those that were previously their enemies are now entitled to peace from spiteful behavior until the next round.

Our question is this: given that the rules of sportsmanship allow for an acceptable amount of in-game anger, where is the limit? At what point does frustration caused by spite outweigh the fun?

Let us take, for another example, the board game Munchkin. Players take turns to try and level their in-game characters to 10. The closer a particular character gets to 10, the more likely that the remaining players will gang up on them to prevent them from reaching that level and winning. Spite runs rampant in Munchkin. For some, it is too much; they dislike the game. For others, the most satisfying part of the game is the opportunity to bring a successful player to their knees simply because they are doing a better job.

This is an intriguing area to explore. Get on it, R&D.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

R&D: Re: Renaming Hopscotch

Marketing: That's an excellent idea! Chopscotch it is.

[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Red] You see that? Can you believe those #&@$ in Marketing? I did most of the work on the hopscotch game.
[Dev] I resent that. 
[Red] It's true.
[Dev] Why are you complaining? You don't like them. Now you don't have to talk to them. Just let me handle communications from now on, okay?

Marketing: Renaming Hopscotch

Dev: Excellent game. We have noticed how the game sticks resemble humorously large chopsticks. We propose that you call the game Chopscotch.

Testing: Hopscotch Test with new rule

We got a few videos of humans playing the new game. Isn't it adorable? Full report coming soon.


R&D Hopscotch [5] Rules change

Testing: Alright, how about this: once a player has placed a goal object in their base, if they leave their base another player can steal it. Humans love spite.

Testing: "Hopscotch Improved!" Playtest 1 Results

R&D: Thanks for giving our testing volunteers something to do! Poor things, they've been all cooped up in here. It's nice to give them a chance to stretch their legs.

Things went fairly decently but we've got some problems with player engagement.

During the first round, the players raced and fought over the goal objects in the center. Both the volunteers playing and watching were laughing and seemed to be having fun. During the second round, though, after a rocky start where one of the players fell down, the timing between the players reaching the center was staggered so there was almost no player interaction.

So, in short:
Positives

  • Good cardiovascular exercise; volunteers out of breath but not wheezing
  • Players are engaged at all times
  • Game is also enjoyable for observers to watch

Negatives

  • While players are engaged in gathering goal objects, they don't necessarily interact with one another
Anyway, we'll keep the volunteers out for now in case you have any rules updates. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Testing: New Hopscotch game

We'll round up some volunteers* and begin testing on the new Hopscotch game.

*as defined by Central Orion Arm Trading Company (COATC) Human Resources

R&D: Hopscotch [4] Rules

Marketing: [REDACTED]

[edit: Director] R&D and Marketing: If you continue to act like children then your salaries will be adjusted accordingly.


Number of Players: 3

Materials

  • Masking tape (indoors)
  • Sidewalk chalk (outdoors)
  • 6 three-foot dowels or sticks
  • 7 objects about the size of a pair of socks (preferably soft and malleable) 

Setup

Begin by creating the following game board on the floor using chalk or masking tape. For scale, the circle in the middle should be about three feet in diameter.



Place the 7 objects in the center of the circle.
Place the 6 sticks in pairs around the edge of the circle at equal distances from each other.

Goal

At the end of the game, the player who has collected the most objects is the winner.

Rules

SQUARES: There are three kinds of squares: bases, movement squares, and goal squares.

Each player chooses a base. Players begin by standing with both feet in the center of their bases.

When the game begins, players hop from their base to one of either of the start points next to their base [See figure: gold stars] and begin to make their way along the path of movement squares to the center circle.

MOVEMENT: After entering a set of movement squares, players must hop on one foot from their current square to an adjacent square (vertical or horizontal, diagonals don't count). A player in the movement squares may not switch feet. The only points from which a player may enter or exit the movement squares are from a start point or an endpoint.

Should the player put both feet down while in the movement squares, skip a square, or fall outside of the squares, they must walk back to their home base.

Once a player has reached an endpoint [See figure: black dots], they may jump to any of the goal squares. If they fall outside of a goal square or land in multiple goal squares, they must walk back to their home base. Once in an endpoint, a player may only jump to an endpoint. The player may not move to any other goal square before touching an endpoint.

OBJECTS: Once a player has reached a goal square, they may plant both feet in the square. There should be three pairs of sticks arranged around the circle. The player may pick up a pair of sticks and use them to drag one of the seven goal objects from the center of the circle to their goal square. Once the goal item is within the bounds of the player's goal square, they may drop their sticks, pick up the goal item, and hop back to an endpoint and travel back along their movement squares to return the goal object to their base.

In this process, players may NOT:
  • Grab more than one goal object
  • Carry the sticks beyond the circle
  • Hit other players with sticks (though it's fine to hit others' sticks)
If the player falls outside of the squares or places both feet on the ground in the movement squares after having picked up a goal object, they must first return the object to the circle before walking back to their base.

Once an object has been placed in a player's base, no other player may touch it. 

End Game: The game ends when all objects are in one of the three home bases. The player with the most objects in their base wins.



[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Dev] I dunno, is it still hopscotch? I mean, there's hopping, yes, but there isn't any throwing anymore. That was half the skill–first you threw, then you hopped.
[Red] We replaced the throwing with the stick battles. We also added a bunch more player interactivity and engagement. I didn't like the throwing bit, anyway. It slowed things down.
[Dev] Oh wait, wait. Idea. What if instead of throwing rocks at the squares, you could keep them in your pocket to throw at other players to... you know what, just don't listen to me.
[Red] I rarely do.

Marketing: Re: Re: Hopscotch Feedback

R&D:
  1. We are a hive mind. We process quickly.
  2. We have a large databank of human information. We simulated our humans.
  3. If we had used our live humans, we could have tested them in parallel (see 1).
  4. Our humans are better than yours.

R&D: Re: Hopscotch Feedback

Marketing: "Lengthly tests and surveys"? That didn't take long. Where did you find your superhuman survey-takers? Our humans sure can't process that quickly.

Marketing: Hopscotch Feedback

R&D: After lengthly tests and surveys, we have determined that the first of your three ideas has the highest probability of being successful at this time. We suggest that you pursue your first option.

R&D: Hopscotch [3] Top Three Hopscotch Ideas

We've narrowed it down to three ideas:

Idea 1: Players use sticks to compete over objects out of their reach to earn points.
[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Red] Yeah, you carry your sticks and fight over stuff outside of your area.
[Dev] So let me just make sure I understand. You want people to hop on one leg over large distances carrying pointy sticks? We need these people to live.
[Red] I guess this needs some work.
[Dev] No kidding.

Idea 2: Players must collect one of each of an array of objects. Course is set up to have a different hopping challenge to collect each kind of object.
[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Dev] What if people run into each other?
[Red] This is supposed to be a kids' game, right? Kids are springy. They'll just bounce.
[Dev] Good point.

Idea 3: Players have a stack of cloth squares that they take turns throwing onto the floor with the goal of making it into their competitor's territory.
[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Red] We could put wizards into this one! The cloth squares could be different spells. You could have attack spells, defense spells, move spells, summoning spells...
[Dev] You were the one who vetoed the Oculus/dance pad combo. "Keep it simple" you said. I could dig up the log if you like.
[Red] Fine, fine. I want to bookmark this for later, though.
[Dev] Noted.

R&D: Hopscotch [2] Brainstorming Session

Technology
  1. Nerf guns to defend territory Boxes or desks to block the sight of whoever’s “it”
  2. Blankets
    1. capes to duck under
    2. curtains to hide behind
  3. Sticks to reach things outside of the designated squares
  4. Light switch; dark room vs light room mean different things in gameplay
  5. Oculus Rift: immersive? (interesting thought, beyond scope of this project)
  6. Dance pad
  7. Pressure sensors: tell if player falls outside
  8. Multiple choice clickers: everyone anonymously chooses where to go using clickers, person who is ‘it’ reveals majority. Majority rules. Last person to hop there is it.
  9. Dice: roll to determine where to go next
  10. Hanging metal course: monkey bars
Mechanics
  1. Dodgeball: working against other people on a similar court on one foot
  2. Tag squares: larger court, some squares for two feet, some for one
  3. Face-off cowboy style: First to center wins
  4. Race: go in parallel against other players
  5. Whack a mole; other players throw things onto the court, timer to how many you can hit
  6. Larger court, get as many flags as you can in the time given
  7. Sneaking: red light green light (tip-toeing)
  8. Squares disappear; flood?
  9. Hop back and forth over a border
    1. River?
    2. Country borders?
  10. Try to reach objects just outside of your reach in the squares
  11. Squares have two meanings; change on timed intervals
  12. Larger gaps between squares; jump onto islands
  13. “Golden snitch”: one person “it”, everyone else tries to catch them
  14. Throw cloth “glyphs” at other players’ squares; touching them when hopping incurs a penalty
  15. Teleport squares: appear at other parts of the board
  16. Large course with many secret boxes; secret boxes randomly contain different points, weapons, powerups, etc.
  17. Play in a cornfield; duck down in corn to hide from person who is “it”
Aesthetics
  1. Piano keys
  2. 12 pubs from World’s End
  3. World’s countries
  4. Leaves on a tree: don’t fall out of the tree
  5. Pirate ships: swing to different ships
  6. Moon walking
  7. Diving suit; walking underwater
  8. Islands in an archipelago
  9. Perspective shift: tops of very high buildings
  10. Wizard’s magic circles
  11. Different planets in solar system
Story

  1. Giants stomping around a town without hitting people
  2. Floor is lava
  3. Cops and robbers
  4. Superheroes vs supervillains
  5. Prison escape
  6. Holiday shoppers
  7. Chefs collecting ingredients for a dish
  8. Paparazzi trying to get the best shot
  9. River hopping; hop back and forth over a river
  10. Between solar systems, delivering things, battling: “warp drive”
  11. Ghosts: hop back from the grave to haunt the living
  12. Running from the kraken

[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Dev] It's such a simple game–we should probably start by changing the mechanic. Let's ignore aesthetics and story until the fun part's solid.
[Red] I guess that makes sense... as long as we get wizard battles in there. Wizards are fun. On that note we should avoid anything too complicated technologically.
[Dev] Oh come on, you were all for the Oculus Rift/dance pad combo. It was such a cool idea!
[Red] Well I'm not building it. We're on a deadline.
[Dev] It can't take that long. You're supposed to be an engineer, right?
[Red] Why did they hire you again?
[Dev] Someone's got to be diplomatic.

R&D: Re: "Hopscotch"

Marketing: Maybe if you provided us with age-appropriate human volunteers* we wouldn't have this problem.

[edit: Dev] My apologies, Marketing. What my partner means to say is that Testing's studies have shown that when presented with a new game, many university-age students are roughly equivalent in attention span and mental activity to elementary-age humans. We should have no trouble with our current batch of volunteers*.

*as defined by Central Orion Arm Trading Company (COATC) Human Resources

Marketing: Re: Hopscotch

R&D: Why are you changing the target audience? You noted that "Hopscotch" was directed at younger humans to improve in their balance. Stick to the plan.

R&D: Hopscotch [1] Preliminary Research

Project Declaration: How do we improve Hopscotch?
Chosen Intended Audience: College students

After preliminary research, we have concluded the following positive and negative elements:

Positive
  • Simple rules; easy to learn
  • Easy setup: chalk, stone “shooter” for throwing
  • Can be played solo or with a group
  • Main mechanic involves balance; enjoyable exercise
  • Changes difficulty slightly as you progress on the course


Negative

  • Turn-based makes it slow for other players
  • If player is successful, they can keep playing and win without anyone else getting a chance
  • Adding more than a few players makes the game take an increasingly long time
  • Becomes rather easy after practice
  • Mistakes puts player out of the game for a long time (until said player's next turn)
  • Game board not particularly interesting


[Excerpt from discussion log]
[Red] Look at how simple the board is. No wonder people don't like this game. This should be the first thing to go.
[Dev] It's a children's game, Red... its primary function is to improve basic motor skills in younger humans; it's not supposed to be complicated. Calm down. We're in hot water as it is thanks to your little stunt with the first post.
[Red] So you'll write the next one, then?
[Dev] ...fine

Stated problem: Hopscotch only engages each player on their turn which, depending on their skill, could be either incredibly long or incredibly short. How do we make hopscotch more engaging for all of the players?

Director: Re: Hopscotch

R&D: your sarcasm is noted. Its presence will be included in your quarterly report. Follow up on project codename "Hopscotch". Submit a detailed report by Earth date [Jan 21, 2014].

Field Research: Hopscotch

Hey, all. Looks like "Hopscotch" could use some work. See below references:



"Hopscotch is a children's game that can be played with several players or alone. Hopscotch is a popular playground game in which players toss a small object into numbered spaces of a pattern of rectangles outlined on the ground and then hop or jump through the spaces to retrieve the object."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopscotch

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Testing: We love the bulletin board!

This bulletin is a wonderful idea. We at Testing were just discussing the need for a better medium for conveying the importance of our work. You can expect the following updates from our sector:

  1. Full reports on the human-developed games that we test
  2. Detailed information about successful mechanics and aesthetics to R&D 
  3. Copies of all bug reports
Any members from other sectors interested in contributing to said bug reports will be welcomed.

[edit] Thank you for your enthusiasm, Testing. The duplicate bug reports will not be necessary. Continue using the ticketing system.
-The Director

Field Research: Hunt now, report later

Haven't got time for this. Following a lead.

Memo to Testing: take a look at [Sir You Are Being Hunted].
Memo to Director: I'm off to do the job you hired me to do.

Marketing: Bulletin Board Title

We've changed the name of the bulletin board to "Conqueror's Cookbook". It's got a catchy ring to it, doesn't it? Our analysis of company records shows that with the addition of regulated doses of whimsey to group activities, team synergy can be increased by a rate of 21%.

Marketing: First Post

Good morning, everyone! Marketing has reached a consensus that we'd "break the ice" on this company journal by posting a draft of the press release that will be shipping on Launch Day. You're gonna love it!

[edit] Looks like R&D beat us to the punch. It would have been nice to have some valuable content in the first post but nobody's perfect.


Greetings! 
We represent the planetary expansion company Central Orion Arm Trading Company where our motto is "A Fun-Filled World is a Happy World!" We would first like to extend our congratulations on your species' recent recategorization as a Basic Intelligent Life Form. This is a big step for a young planet and we share your excitement in the commencement of your next stage of evolution. 
In that vein, we are currently in the process of acquiring your planet so that we may begin your species' service phase. We realize that this process should be fairly new to you so before we commence with basic retopography, population redesign, and profession assignment we will be conducting a series of brief surveys of the human population. This particular survey branch is dedicated to the impact of fun on the human psyche. We will be collecting data on existing sources of fun, namely games, with the anticipation that well-designed company approved games will assist in resident education and acceptance of the new management system. 
We look forward to working with you and will keep you informed of our progress with regular updates. 

Thank you for your time,  
Marketing
Games and Diversions Division 
The Central Orion Arm Trading Company

Introductions: R&D

We were informed that our department is required to post frequent updates to the company's media outlet. Our numerous appeals to the effect that we don't need another job on top of our already absurdly heavy workloads have been denied, however, and I lost the coin toss so here I am.

Hello, I'm Red. My partner Dev and I are responsible for the development of new games, diversions, and technologies that may one day be released unto the unsuspecting masses. Or, rather, that would be the case if we hadn't been ordered to document our work in a public space. I'll never understand bureaucracy. 

On that note, I'm honestly a little surprised that we don't seem to have a more experienced supervisor on our team. Well, I am absolutely sure the Director knows what they're doing...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Memo from The Director

As you all are well aware, we are at two standard years from ACQUISITION DATE. Your division, as a new experimental addition to our "Win the hearts and minds" campaign, will be expected to not only complete the work that has been designated to you but also to prove that you are a valuable addition to the Central Orion Arm Trading Company. In this probationary period we will expect regular reports on your progress. Therefore, in addition to your regularly scheduled deadlines, we will be asking you to contribute regularly to this internal company bulletin in order to keep your coworkers and supervisors informed of your progress.

Thank you for your time,
The Director